Voldie's Nose
by YourFriendlyNeighborhoodDemon
Summary: What really happened to Voldemort's nose?


**Author's Note:**** This is my first fanfic for Harry Potter so let me know how I do. Characters will defiantly be OOC. This is something that my mom and I came up with when we were in line for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Enjoy the story!**

**Disclaimer:**** J.K. Rowling owns it all. I only own the plot and Katie.**

Katie Thompson was just a normal 9-year-old girl who was obsessed with Harry Potter. She also had huge sugar highs even if she only had a teaspoon of sugar. One day she was forced to part (temporarily) with her beloved books to go with her mom to the grocery store.

While Katie was at the store she was (as always) on a sugar high, so she wandered away from her mom so she could go look at the limited supply of books that luckily included Harry Potter. On her way to the books she past the produce and had to do a double take at a man who you would never suspect to be grocery shopping.

The man had pure white skin and was also wearing strange robe-like clothes. That's right, it was Voldemort. The only difference between the Voldemort we all know and hate and the one standing a few yards away from Katie, was that the one Katie was looking at had a very large nose and shoulder length brown hair.

Katie got so excited about seeing a character out of one of her favorite books, that she decided to call her friend Casey who was only a slightly less Harry Potter freak then Katie was. Katie hurried over to the payphone by the bathrooms in the store to call her friend but just before she got there she screeched to a stop. She realized that if she told Casey then she was just going to pass it off as a hallucination caused by Katie's sugar high. If Katie was going to get anyone to believe that Voldemort was shopping for groceries here in this store, she was going to need proof.

Now if Katie hadn't been on a sugar high, she may have just taken a picture like a normal human being would. But no, she had to do something drastic. Quickly she ran to where the cooking wear was and took down a butcher's knife. Then she ran to the bakery and grabbed a cookie, and a plastic bag.

Katie then flew back to where she had seen Voldie a few minutes earlier, and noticed that he was still there. Quietly she crept up behind him with the knife in one hand and the cookie in the other, then she raised the knife and jumped out in front of him.

Now Voldie jumped back in surprise, not used to having little knife waving girls jumping out in front of him. He barely had time to cry out in surprise before Katie stuffed the cookie in his mouth, cut off his nose and put it in the bag before running off to find her mom; who was ready to go and was looking for her, leaving the bloody knife at Voldie's feet.

Now Voldie was doubled over in pain, clutching the place where his nose had been, he grabbed the knife and disappeared with a loud pop, all hopes of a peaceful shopping trip forgotten. When he got back home, he found that it was very difficult to breath without a nose so he cut two snake-like slits in his face and cast a charm that made the bleeding stop and allowed him to breath.

Now Voldie was understandably upset about losing his nose, so he now makes his Death Eaters do his shopping for him so that he will no longer be subject to crazy, knife waving girls on sugar highs.

What happened to nose you may ask? Well, after Katie got home she put it in a jar full of pickle juice to keep it fresh so it wouldn't mold, and named it 'Gary'. A few months later after she got tired of Gary and had showed it to all of her friends who she had bragged about her accomplishment too, she sold it to Fred and George Weasley on Ebay and is now filthy rich so she will never have to work for the rest of her life.

Gary the nose is currently living with George in Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes and you can pay to see it for the small price of 2 knuts and a sickle.

**Let me know what you think. Sorry if it's bad but my sister has been bugging me to post this since I told her this story. Please review and let me know what you think! Thanks!**_** I went through it and made some grammar changes. Should I write something about why Voldie is bald as a companion to this? Let me know!**_


End file.
